Fear

I never used to think much of fear: it was always something that I had never really felt.  I've always tried to avoid dangerous situations, for the most part, and by dangerous I mean not physical danger - I've never been anywhere remotely close to death - but social danger, which I suppose is typically related to what is termed anxiety rather than fear (perhaps?).

But fear it is, I think, all the same.  My friend tries to get me to "come out of my shell", as they call it, with awkward situations, which does have some merit.  Trial by fire often works, and the fact that I have friends at all implies that I'm not some incapable oaf, and must to some extent be capable of surviving awkward situations.

Anyway, I think I've found that frightening situations that can be undone are more terrorizing than those that are permanent, because he wouldn't be putting me in frightful situations if the repercussions were all that terrible.  When there's some sense of undoing an action, there's always that fear that it cannot be undone after all.  Only when it is permanent, a fact, as it were, do I actually accept the positives of the situation.

So anyway, now that my frightening situation is undone, perhaps I'd have been better off had it been permanent.  I've always acted more based on my heart than my mind.

In the spirit, check out:
"Actually It's Darkness" - Idlewild - one of my all time fave tracks
"Here Comes the Fear Again" - Doves - forgotten classic following the same theme